...equality?
Wow, it's the first of august... here's to the rest of the summer! Is it hot where you are? Do you feel sweat trickling down between your breasts and on your back? Do you have to shower at least twice a day to feel slightly fresh?
We haven't had internet connection for a few days, not sure what the problem was, but we're back! Yeah. I didn't really have time to go online anyway, since my course finally started, which means of course that my afternoons are now filled with a lot of reading and research and having discussions with the 24-year-old who teaches the class. Please, don't even get me started. In any case, from what I can tell so far, the world of an editor is an interesting one. It is certainly filled with loads of information about the book market, buying habits, reading habits, competing niches, marketing challenges... It's quite amazing to see how many stages a book goes through before it lands on a shelf in a shop, or at a kiosk, a warehouse, or anywhere else, for that matter.
Having this kind of purpose in my life again (walking briskly to and from the school, folder in hand, ipod in ear, smile on face) made me realise that in the long run, I will need a job that I'm interested in and that I enjoy in order to feel good about myself and my place in life. No more being an assistant just because I know how to do it and it pays the bills. That's just not going to cut it anymore, I want actual job satisfaction.
So when my man started taking action about finding employment on another continent again (instead of making his former lifelong dream of an entrepreneurial business come true here where we are) I understood him. I got it. I mean, his sights are first and foremost set on the money, but all the rest is there, too. So if he feels that that job in the States is going to make him happy, help his career, give him a sense of self-worth, something to be proud of and motivation enough to get out of bed every morning, then he should definitely go for it. And I'll support him in every way I can.
Of course, if he wants me to move over there with him, chances are we'd have to get married, for Visa reasons. I probably wouldn't be allowed to work though (or possibly just as an assistant as that's my area of expertise, but I don't want that) and would spend a lot of time alone, what with him away in the office all day. Plus I would totally depend on his money, which is a weird feeling at the best of times, seeing as I've always had some sort of income since I was 18.
All this uncertainty brought me back to the whole thinking-about-the-future business, and the wondering about will I want to be legally bound to someone who is adamant about not having children, when I'm not sure if maybe I'll want some way into the future. So, you know, same shit, different day. Which is basically what I had been carrying around with me for about a week or so, because I didn't want to put any additional pressure on him, plus nothing's even certain yet. No job offer finalised or anything. However, instead of holding it in til there was something definite to talk about, I asked him a couple of nights ago about what was on my mind. Namely, was he prepared to be legally bound to me if he knows that possibly I'll want children in the future.
I'm sorry to say that we didn't come up with an answer then and there, but we did establish that we both would like to be together and stay together. Forever, if possible. So we got that confirmed again and kind of talked about the future. And by talked, I mean I got the feeling off my chest that it's all my decision and my responsibility. I mean, there's two equal, supposed adults in this relationship, so I don't think I'm asking too much when I try to make him see my position.
Or am I?
We haven't had internet connection for a few days, not sure what the problem was, but we're back! Yeah. I didn't really have time to go online anyway, since my course finally started, which means of course that my afternoons are now filled with a lot of reading and research and having discussions with the 24-year-old who teaches the class. Please, don't even get me started. In any case, from what I can tell so far, the world of an editor is an interesting one. It is certainly filled with loads of information about the book market, buying habits, reading habits, competing niches, marketing challenges... It's quite amazing to see how many stages a book goes through before it lands on a shelf in a shop, or at a kiosk, a warehouse, or anywhere else, for that matter.
Having this kind of purpose in my life again (walking briskly to and from the school, folder in hand, ipod in ear, smile on face) made me realise that in the long run, I will need a job that I'm interested in and that I enjoy in order to feel good about myself and my place in life. No more being an assistant just because I know how to do it and it pays the bills. That's just not going to cut it anymore, I want actual job satisfaction.
So when my man started taking action about finding employment on another continent again (instead of making his former lifelong dream of an entrepreneurial business come true here where we are) I understood him. I got it. I mean, his sights are first and foremost set on the money, but all the rest is there, too. So if he feels that that job in the States is going to make him happy, help his career, give him a sense of self-worth, something to be proud of and motivation enough to get out of bed every morning, then he should definitely go for it. And I'll support him in every way I can.
Of course, if he wants me to move over there with him, chances are we'd have to get married, for Visa reasons. I probably wouldn't be allowed to work though (or possibly just as an assistant as that's my area of expertise, but I don't want that) and would spend a lot of time alone, what with him away in the office all day. Plus I would totally depend on his money, which is a weird feeling at the best of times, seeing as I've always had some sort of income since I was 18.
All this uncertainty brought me back to the whole thinking-about-the-future business, and the wondering about will I want to be legally bound to someone who is adamant about not having children, when I'm not sure if maybe I'll want some way into the future. So, you know, same shit, different day. Which is basically what I had been carrying around with me for about a week or so, because I didn't want to put any additional pressure on him, plus nothing's even certain yet. No job offer finalised or anything. However, instead of holding it in til there was something definite to talk about, I asked him a couple of nights ago about what was on my mind. Namely, was he prepared to be legally bound to me if he knows that possibly I'll want children in the future.
I'm sorry to say that we didn't come up with an answer then and there, but we did establish that we both would like to be together and stay together. Forever, if possible. So we got that confirmed again and kind of talked about the future. And by talked, I mean I got the feeling off my chest that it's all my decision and my responsibility. I mean, there's two equal, supposed adults in this relationship, so I don't think I'm asking too much when I try to make him see my position.
Or am I?
posted by Sincerely, @ 2:31 PM
0 comments
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home